It's on Friday night

I've gone to bed just now

but I just cant fall asleep.

Guess it's bcz of my 'sleeping time' had pass.

That is why I'm here bloggin at this hour.

ughh...if mum found out that I din sleep yet, she'll scold me again ><"

The Friday night's incident...

makes me recall what happened almost 3 years ago.

.

.

.

.

.

I can remember exactly when it happened.

It's on 'nin 29' night, just before Chinese New Year.

He told me that he wants to be friend with me.

His simple words hurt me so much.

Hurt so bad that it actually numb my brain cell from thinking of what to say.

It hurts even more when he highlighted the word 'Friend' in every sms he sent me.

I feel like my love had been rejected

even though I did not confess that night

and did not ask for anything.

We are already friends actually

but instead of telling him "wo men ben lai dou shi peng you a",

I replied "oh".

One of my friend thinks that replying him that way is very silly.

She thinks that I've lose my pride that way.

But I do not want to deny my feelings for him.

Yes.

I may deny my feelings for him in front of my other friends

but not to him...

Not when I thought he have the same feelings for me too.

At that moment,

I'm not ready and have no idea at all since when he already falls for another girl.

Some pity me because I've waited him for months...

Some angry of him for making me waiting for him...

while others think that I'm silly.

. . .

That very night,

I try to hold on my tears

that I could barely talk.

I thought...

It's not worth it to shed a tear for someone who doesn't loves me.

So I try really really hard to not to cry.

M asked me if him and me have started to build a closer relationship

so I told him what happened.

He couldn't believe that it turns the other way out.

I couldn't doze off until 4.30am ><"

I woke up at 9am the other day.

Once I opened up my eyes,

the incident night before keep on playing in my mind.

Tears roll sideway and wet my pillow.

I forced myself to sleep.

I tried very hard to sleep but I was not sleepy.

I was conscious and I can hear every footsteps that came into my room.

. . .

I finally wake up and left my bed exactly at 3.30pm.

Knowing that that day was 'nin 30',

I need to wake up and help my mum on preparing dinner.

I walk

I talk

I work

I eat

I do what I suppose to do like nothing ever happen.

The happening Chinese New Year

seems dull for me that year.

And I actually feel a lil frustrated.

He should have told me after Chinese New Year laa!

Haha!!

. . .

I'm bloggin about this

not because I want him or other friends to know how sad I am back then,

not because I am seeking attention neither.

I thought of jotting this down in case I'll forget about this in the future.

I'm remembering this not because I have not let it down yet,

but because it is a sad yet sweet and silly but funny experience =)

Oh..

Dun misunderstand.

Me and him are still good friends now.

Those 'sad' or 'not feeling good' feeling are already gone long time ago.

I can even hang out together with his girlfriend now.

Time is the best medicine =D

p.s I'm not bloggin about Friday night's incident

because it is not the time yet.

Time will reveal about it in the near future.

pp.s I din even cry this time.